Lyon: Thinking in September

I get looks all the time. Good or bad, I'm not sure but I notice them more when it comes from a woman. I think it is fairly obvious I am not French, partly because of my dress but mostly the hair. Because I talk to girls often, I think enough know me to notice me. I am going to answer my first questions and say that it is in a good way. That doesn't have a sexual connotation, but it does hold the element of curiosity.

The girl I spoke with earlier before what I thought was my class time is cute, a great dancer if I remember my faces right, and sweet enough to let me try my French on her. I think I will go back a little early to insure that I catch her and get her number. I must invite her over, possibly for dinner but most likely an Aperro. From there, we go out, have a dance, and share a kiss. That seems simple enough. Life is easier in France, romantically at least. You skip the getting to know each other phase until after you start fucking. You learn about each other during the relationship and that is not a terrible way to do it. There are no surprises because it is expected that there will be surprises. Hmm...

Now, what is that girl's name? I want to say something with an M, but there are so many M names. Marie, Marriane, Marrine, Marrion, Maxime. Frankly they all sound the same to me in French but I know they can tell the difference when I speak, even with my accent. I am hoping the trick of having her put the number in my phone will work properly because if she just puts the number in I am still stuck without that knowledge. If that fails, I can always try to get her to introduce herself to some of my friends, which would be good as well. I will have to do this either way for an Aperro, assuming she is even available, so I think all is well. In fact, it is always well and there is no real need to worry about much in my life. Part of this is preparation, part of this is security provided by my family, but I think most of this is me and my confidence in myself.

We are moving beyond the pointless girl talk and moving into philosophy. I have a self-centered view of the world but I also possess a broad perspective (at least I think I do). What I mean by this is that my ability in so many things is amazing. Not the best, as I am always being surprised, but I am good. I believe that I can change the world on my own. (Even if I am not smart or good at anything, I still obviously have some confidence on the matter.) At the same time, I don't want to do it on my own, and know that I can do so much more with others just like me.

Interesting how those two words end up on their own page of this notepad("like me"). Coincidence as much as anything else, this interests me none the less. I do have the desire to be loved, as anyone does. However, I do not seem able to maintain the desire to be in love once it is there. So, for now we can put all serious desires to the side and focus on purely physical aspect, which I cannot consider serious at this point in time. I have emotional ADD, but there is no pill to fix this. Well, there is a cure but that comes with a type of maturity that I am nowhere near obtaining. Hmm... deep thoughts... How do I obtain this? Well I am not going to publish the answer even if I write it so that is for others to contemplate in relation to themselves.

Damn it, a song just came on the iPod through the magic of shuffle that is not conducive to a positive turn in my writing. While I still can, lets seek to a better view on life, shall we?

That actually reminds me of an instance of which I never got the chance to write about. It happened in the airport the last time I was going home from Boston. I got off the bus at the international terminal after hearing my airlind being called. I felt slightly lost for once and asked a man for help in finding Jet Blue after removing my iPod. He laughed and told me that I was in the wrong terminal, and then he asked if I was listening to my music on the bus. I knew where this was going. It was a clear reference to my music distracting me from the world around me. This made me think.

There is an entire generation walking through the world with headphones on. This doesn't mean that we are unaware of what is around us, but more so that we are noticing very different things about the world around us. Our music, whatever it may be, limits the auditory detection from the outside, but as emotions are evoked through song, we acquire a heightened conceptual intake capacity. We can see it as our own, free of influence and contamination. Read back on my thoughts on a slow walk, literally slowing down the world and absorbing more visual stimulation than ever before. You see past the colors of one's eyes, hair, or arm and into what makes a difference. It may seem odd to know somebody by looking at them, but in a weird way looking with purpose can tell you more than months of friendship, at least this is my theory for now.

Yeah baby, now we are getting somewhere close to a publishable bubble. Shit, with that thought I have the desire to sign off and rest my hand.

Peace and Love from Lyon,
Scott